LinkedIn Trains AI to Prioritize ‘Some Thoughts’ Posts With Verified Zero Thought Content
Algorithm achieves 94% accuracy in detecting absence of ideas
SAN FRANCISCO—LinkedIn confirmed Wednesday that its recommendation algorithm now specifically amplifies posts beginning with “Some thoughts” only after its AI verifies they contain no actual thoughts, calling it a “breakthrough in engagement optimization.”
“Users don’t want to think at work,” explained LinkedIn’s VP of Feed Quality, Marcus Chen. “When they see ‘Some thoughts,’ they want the comfort of engagement without the burden of cognition.”
The AI system, codenamed “VoidBoost,” uses advanced natural language processing to ensure promoted content is:
- Semantically empty but grammatically correct
- Impossible to disagree with
- Vaguely inspirational without specific claims
- Between 800-1,200 words (the “executive sweet spot”)
Internal metrics showed posts with actual thoughts received 67% fewer engagement rings and caused what LinkedIn calls “scroll friction”—users stopping to actually read.
“We noticed posts with genuine insights were causing comment sections with… discussions,” Chen said, visibly shuddering. “Our enterprise customers don’t pay for discussion. They pay for validation metrics.”
The algorithm now automatically deprioritizes posts containing:
- Specific proposals
- Verifiable claims
- Original ideas
- Any thought that couldn’t appear on a motivational poster
Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella praised the innovation: “LinkedIn has achieved what we call ‘peak enterprise social’—maximum engagement with minimum cognitive load.”
At press time, LinkedIn announced its AI would begin auto-generating “Some thoughts” posts for premium members, pre-liked by other premium members’ AI assistants.